MK10ART - Keith Raniere before the jury.

Vanguard Has Become the Laughingstock of MDC

Keith Raniere always wanted to be respected and admired.

That’s one of the reasons why he made up all the totally bullshit claims about his abilities, powers, and skills.

East Coast judo champion.

For years Keith Alan Raniere claimed he was the East Coast Judo Champion – until Frank Report discovered it was merely an exhibition for children and all he did was compete with a youngster about age 12. [There were literally hundreds of $2 ribbons handed out to children who competed – with the words ‘East Coast Judo Champion”. [Who would put that on their resume?]

Concert pianist.

He played concert-level perversion at the age of 57. [Not a real photo.]
Record-tying sprinter.

Keith Raniere said he tied the New York State record for the 100-yard dash. [not a real photo]
Mathematical wizard.

World’s smartest man.

Presently lives in Brooklyn New York, formerly lived in Clifton Park.

Well, now he can add one more line to that incredible 18-page resume: Biggest Buffoon in the Metropolitan Detention Center.


It’s been a tough week for The Vanguard.

First, he had to sit stoically at the defense table listening to AUSA Tanya Hajjar and FBI Special Agent Meagan Rees reading his back-and-forth texts with Cami, the woman that he started having sex with when she was 15.

Along the way, he learned that Cami preferred the “taste, consistency, quantity and intensity” of Robbie Chiappone’s semen over his.

Then when he told Cami that his penis was longer than Robbie’s when both were fully erect, she responded by noting that “You haven’t been at your fullest in a long time”.


Even I felt a little sorry for him when I read that passage in the transcript.

But I got over it in about 30 seconds – which is apparently a little longer than The Vanguard lasts these days.


Next, Raniere had to endure an entire courtroom bursting into laughter when Nicole No-Last-Name was asked what she thought when she was told by several of his minions that he was the world’s smartest man.

Her response: “It sounded like bullshit to me”.

Another OUCH – although not nearly as bad as the one inflicted by Cami.


Unfortunately for Raniere, his humiliation does not end when Judge Nicholas G. Garaufis gavels the trial to a close for the day.

Nope . . . He still has to ride back to MDC with two guards.

Two guards who have been paying close attention to the trial – and who have now given him a new nickname: “Salty-Sweet”.

Two guards who are tired of listening to his never-ending explanations of why he’s an innocent man—and who have told him more than once to “Just shut the fuck up”.


Eventually, he gets back to wherever he’s being housed at MDC for the night – where he’s confronted by fellow inmates who have been following the trial through the New York Post (Three copies of the newspaper are delivered to each unit every day: one for the Black prisoners, one for the White prisoners, and one for the Spanish prisoners).

The inmates, of course, make the teasing from the guards seem like child’s play.

Some mock him.

Some confront him.

But none of them respect him or admire him.

And none of them give a shit about his latest explanation that DOS was something that Allison Mack and Lauren Salzman concocted – and that he just went along with it to please them.


Not an actual photo of Keith Alan Raniere being returned to his prison cell.

The trial is taking its toll on Raniere.

He’s not sleeping well – and he’s hardly eating.

And he’s starting to look forlorn every day that he has to return to the courthouse.

And although he still wants to explain to anyone who will listen why Marc Agnifilo is such a shitty lawyer – and why he doesn’t trust any of his attorneys – no one will listen to him anymore.

They just shake their heads and walk away whenever he starts talking.

We’re definitely not in NXIVM-land anymore, Toto.


Raniere is becoming increasingly gloomy – and is no longer claiming that he’s going to be getting out as soon as this trial is over.

And he’s increasingly blaming the women that turned against him for his problems – especially Allison and Lauren.

Soon, it will be time for him to blame Marc Agnifilo for his conviction.

And then it will be time for him to go away . . .forever.


One final note from within the high walls of MDC . . .

Raniere has become “super-comfortable” going through the totally degrading process of being strip-searched twice a day.

Unlike the vast majority of inmates who find the process demeaning and de-humanizing, Raniere now seems to relish the process – and is smiley and buoyant every time he goes through it.

Ya gotta wonder what that’s all about . . .


Night, night, Keithy . . . don’t let the bedbugs bite.

About the author


News and art, national and local. Began as alternative weekly in 1990 in Buffalo, NY. Publishing content online since 1996.


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  • Good article Claviger.

    With regard to your claim that Keith ‘enjoys’ being strip searched, that’s simply untrue and you’re misinterpreting his behavior.

    Keith is simply pretending or feigning enjoyment for 2 purposes:

    1) So the guards don’t realize just how ‘degraded’ and ‘humiliated’ he is when they do that to him every day.

    2) So he himself doesn’t feel as ‘degraded’ and ‘worthless’ when the guards are ravaging his private areas.

    If he pretends that he enjoys it, he can avoid some of the feelings of ‘violation’ that accompany being strip searched.

    It’s akin to how some date rape victims will convince themseles (in their own minds) that they weren’t raped and even seek out the company of the rapist as a friend afterward —- because it allows them to deny that they’ve been violated and helps them to cope with the mental anguish of being physically violated. It’s a coping mechanism.

    The fact that you think Keith REALLY enjoys it shows that you’re a RETARD and are not a person with a higher IQ.

    I’m guessing that you BARELY passed the BAR exam and likely went to the Brooklyn Academy of Law (where My Cousin Vinny attended). Was six times a charm for you too?

  • I think the OUCH inflicted by Nicole (Raniere isn’t that smart) could be more damaging than Cami’s (Raniere semen isn’t as sweet as another guy’s), because the courtroom burst out in laughter, which means all those on the jury know their fellow jurors agree with them without having to break the rules of discussing the case AND the entire courtroom, which is the jury’s measure of society at-large for the timeframe of the trial, is also in agreement. Neither one of these issue is illegal, but the “ick factor” has been solidified from an individual and group perspective.

  • He should have pleaded guilty to avoid the big fuss. Then he could have shouted his innocence and some would have believed him. And from prison he could have sent beautiful messages about ethics.

  • Meanwhile… Kirsten Gillibrand’s at Des Moines Pride, accompanied by a drag queen.Isn’t it nice that she cares about people while ignoring the Den of Iniquity in her own back yard?

  • Are these accounts from inside the jail real or imagined by the author? Most journalists would at least cite “unnamed sources from within the jail,” or something like that.

    • All the MDC updates are based on information provided by a variety of unnamed sources (Different updates come from different people). Unfortunately, a good deal of the information that we receive has to be left unpublished in order to protect those same sources.

      • KRC must say the last visual on this article was most horrific ….well placed mho

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