Reader gives DOJ advice on response to Agnifilo’s Garden of Eden argument

Warning Salacious Post:

By Hot Sauce and Pizza, Pussy sans Garlic

Keith Raniere’s lawyer, Marc Agnifilo wrote about Keith, DOS and the charges of sex trafficking as follows: 

“Plainly, there was no prostitution in this case, nor was there anything resembling sex for money, or sex for fame as an actress, or sex for the selling of photographs. The closest the Government gets to commercial sex is sex for love, sex for attention, sex for acceptance, sex for sex’s own sake—in short, sex for many of the reasons people have been having sex since the Garden of Eden.”

Actually, Agnifilo makes an astute, intelligent and nearly unimpeachable argument… Well, except for a few minor holes, such as:

1) Women in the Garden of Eden didn’t have blackmail collateral being held over their heads by Adam every time he asked them to perform coitus. It’s a historical fact that Eve willingly chose to fornicate with Adam in that lush garden, without any threats of blackmail material being exposed.

Image result for adam and eve
NOT A REAL PHOTO: The idea that any woman had to be coerced into copulating with this Adonis is laughable. But he not only had a fine physique, he could play the piano.

2) Women in the Garden of Eden were not given ‘coach’ or ‘proctor’ status for performing coitus with Adam. Whereas in NXIVM, it’s hard to find a woman with a Green, Orange or Yellow sash who didn’t fornicate with Keith. These same women also earned more money than the white sashes who didn’t fuck Keith. Women within NXIVM who fucked Keith seemed to be better off financially than women who didn’t. Coincidence? Yeah, sure.

Image result for adam and eve

I’m sure that Frank could write an article examining the percentage of women with Gold, Purple, Green, Orange and Yellow sashes who were also fornicating with Keith. That number might not be “100%” but I’m sure it’s damn close to that. Did the women who never fucked Keith make the same money within NXIVM as the ones who did fuck him? I’d like to see Frank write an article examining this in more detail, woman by woman, sash by sash.

3) In the Garden of Eden, Adam was a handsome man with a great physique while strutting around in his toga, [or was it just a leaf?] which is why he didn’t need to hold blackmail material just to get laid. Whereas Keith is a short and pudgy little fraction of a man, with a geeky appearance and square feet. Very few women would voluntarily choose to fuck a short, pudgy and geeky man. This physical difference between Keith and Adam is likely why Keith requires blackmail collateral from NXIVM women.

Keith strutted around in the garden of Clifton Park. His Adonis-like body inspired many women to hop into their birthday suits and join him in his “Library.”

Agnifilo forgot to mention this FACT in his memorandum to the court.

Who says Keith Raniere was not more virile than Adam?

4) In the Garden of Eden, Adam was virile enough to seal the deal with Eve WITHOUT having to TUNE HER UP. Whereas with Keith, rumor has it that his flaccid noodle is preventing him from achieving full release during coitus. This is why Keith invented the “tune up” where he simply eats a woman’s pussy and then jacks off on her titties using high speed masturbation. A real man doesn’t need to “tune up” a woman. A real man can get wood during fornication. Agnifilo’s memorandum doesn’t seem to mention this FACT, though.

If Keith was the only man in the world, would women be happier?

5) Adam never required the women in the Garden of Eden to grow full bush pussies. Yet Keith does require this. Apparently Keith believes that a pussy with a full bush of hair will release lots of “pheromones” and thereby allow his limp noodle to become at least partially stiff. Agnifilo is ignoring the FACT that Adam didn’t force Eve to grow a full bush on her pussy. Adam didn’t need the extra pheromones to get erect like Keith does.

From ancient art, it appears that Adam was not as Keith was in the pubic region, but then again Adam didn’t even brand his woman.

I hope the government files a response to Agnifilo’s memorandum to address these issues with the court.

Keith knew many secrets that Adam did not, although both men were the smartest men in the world during their lifetime.
The all-wise Vanguard knows what he likes…

There is nothing glamorous about the girl on the left – she would disappoint her Vanguard. He would tell her “grow up.”

Image result for overgrown pubic bush
None of these cuts, while possibly acceptable to Adam, were ever acceptable to the Vanguard.

About the author


News and art, national and local. Began as alternative weekly in 1990 in Buffalo, NY. Publishing content online since 1996.

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